‘Wajah Tum Ho’ movie review: Too dull to be erotic, too lousy to be a thriller

Wajah Tum Ho Movie Review

Directed By: Vishal Pandya
Produced By: 
Bhushan Kumar, Krishan Kumar
Rajniesh Duggall, Gurmeet Choudhary, Sharman Joshi, Sana Khaan, Sherlyn Chopra
2 hours 16 minutes
Bollywood Bubble Rating: ★
Hmm…this Sana Khaan is hot! But how much did she smoke to crack her voice this way? Rajniesh Duggall is the culprit! Wait, he is not? Damn! That Mumbai Police ACP just raped a girl? Wow, Sherlyn Chopra has a dialogue? How many villains does this film have? Why is Sharman Joshi talking like Chulbul Pandey? Okay, I am even more f***ked. I now have to write a ‘Wajah Tum Ho’ movie review!
So, Rajniesh Duggall aka Rahul runs Global Times Network, a huge news network. One fine morning (or may be evening; news rooms are always dark), the channel’s signals are hacked. The running shows disappear and comes live telecast of a murder! Across the nation, at cafes and cozy bedrooms, people shiver as the person is dying, goddamn LIVE! Let us not explain the murder, for your sake. Police Inspector Kabir Deshmukh (Sharman Joshi) takes over the inspection and advocate Ranvir Vajaj (Gurmeet Choudhary) assists him in the investigation. Siya Sharma (Sana Khaan) is the legal head of GTM, and fights the case on Rahul’s behalf. Ranvir and Siya are a couple; they fight each other case during the day and make love at night. Very interesting! As they dig dip, we learn about three more murders, one gang rape, a number of friends-turned-foes, and one sleazy item number credited to Zareen Khan. Such an overdose early morning!
Disclaimer first. ‘Wajah Tum Ho’ had elements to be a good thriller, if only Vishal Pandya considered rectifying a terribly and horribly melodramatic script and excluded songs that appeared out of the blue. Besides, he was probably high on the ‘Twist Pe Twist, Twist Pe Twist’ theory.  Actually, something got on to him after the ‘Hate Story’ franchise. He simply doesn’t realise that thrillers can be subtle, and yet gripping. And those abrupt cleavage shows, urgghh! The ‘erotic’ portions are anyway a complete failure. They look fake and evoke zero sensation. The only thing we liked was how the suspense was slowly cooking up. Till first half an hour, we sat glued, wanting to know more; albeit that live murder was too much to take.
Not a single actor is convincing enough. Even a performer like Sharman Joshi,who is known to pull off his characters so well, is losing his charm; probably because he no more receives roles that do justice to his ability. He is gentle, but doesn’t impress as a police officer. Gurmeet Choudhary has left his ‘TV star image’ behind, but not his accents.  Sana Khaan is sensuous..err..only sensuous. Again, what’s up with her voice man? To be honest, Rajniesh Duggall is better in the film. You’ll like him as a bad man. Uhh, why do we always like him as the bad man? Himmanshoo Malhotra could choose a wiser role for himself. He hardly talks, makes out once, and rapes once, in the violent possible way.
You’ll need a bunch of tissue papers to deal with shrewd murders of those classic songs. Who in the history of mankind even thought of singing ‘Aise Na Mujhe Tum Dekho’ while making out with an escort and HALLUCINATING about another woman? And anyway, who hallucinates while making out? Plug your earphones and only see Zareen Khan as she dances with the recreated version of ‘Maahi Ve’; because the song itself is a forced addition to the film. Just the title track is nice.
Not much to talk about technicalities; because what would cinematographer Prakash Kutty or editor Manish More have done, with limited visuals of over-sophisticated houses, lavish offices and sexy swimming pools where at least one horny soul is always floating?
Wrapping my head around too many things right now. ‘Wajah Tum Ho’, you be the sole reason.
P.S. Sana Khaan sings Ganpati Aarti in white tights, orange spagetti and high heels!
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